As we did with the Amazing Race 12 recap, we return with a new Amazing Race Asia recap, fresh off our full-fledged endorsement from Executive Producer Michael McKay. So without further delay, we go into the recap.
We know from the previous episode that Daichi & Sawaka were eliminated after failing to catch up to the Dancing Moms and not yielding them when they had the chance and Terri & Henry for some strange reason yielded Bald Fuck and Crackhead. So six teams still remain as we go into this recap.
Continuing our policy of not mentioning the Arrogant Assholes by name nor putting their pictures into the recaps, we start off in Busan, South Korea and one of the leading Buddhist temples where we begin this leg of the race.

Bald Fuck says it’s always scary to be in the first position because he has no idea whether he’s doing the right thing or there is not another team to pass to validate what they’re doing. This is why the Arrogant Assholes are going down because they’re concerned with others. In comparison, the Beauty Queens didn’t worry about what others were doing and just raced. Bald Fuck and Crackhead are worried if they’re doing the right thing. Just race and you’ll be fine. However, they find a cop and ask for directions to Anseong.

Unfortunately, the police decide to escort the lead team to the farm and it’s obvious that these officers were either paid off or are just plain corrupt. In any event, Bald Fuck and Crackhead get what is essentially a free ride to Anseong.
Terri & Henry leave in third. In the last episode, this team got along well and did a minimum of arguing. But will they maintain the good feelings in this leg? We shall see.
In the meantime, the Arrogant Assholes are following their police escort, but close behind are Adrian & Collin. However, unaware that the Inane Idiots are being escorted to the next destination, Adrian says he will closely at the directions when they hit the highway.
Fourth to depart are sisters Vanessa & Pamela. This team has had its ups and downs and this leg will be down for them, but overall, they have raced well and managed to stay close to the leaders. Vanessa has to get used to driving, US-style and being on the right hand side of the road. This will come into play for the teams in this episode.
The teams that are on the road all comment on how different the driving is, foreshadowing perhaps. And all of the signs are in Korean so just as the American racers had to deal with the Japanese street signs, the Asian racers will have some difficulty here today. I would have liked to have seen how Andrew & Syeon from the 1st season would have dealt with this. Syeon is Korean so I would have loved to see how much of an advantage she would have had had the teams gone to South Korea, but I digress.


The last team to leave is Ann & Diane. Now, we did see the Dancing Moms be deceptive last week when they tried to mislead Daichi & Sawaka, but again, does it warrant the venom from the other teams? We’ll see in this episode.


So the teams are driving in and out of traffic to Seoil Farm. It’s here where we start to get some separation. Terri inexplicably tells Henry to get off the highway and hide from the other teams. Henry doesn’t understand, but then she raises her voice stating, “I want them to get lost. I know how to play their game.” What? I don’t understand. Maybe it’s because I’m tired and I’m trying to decipher Terri’s insane logic.

As Arrogant Asshole #1 searches the jars, Arrogant Asshole #2 razzes him telling him to hurry up. This is annoying. I actually wish they would find the clue so I won’t have to see them, but with so many jars and so few clues, this is going to take a while.

But Adrian & Collin drive by without stopping to see if they can help. Terri & Henry also pass them and the Dancing Moms look over and think the best friends have been apprehended. Diane also bangs into the abutment, but doesn’t cause as much damage to her van as Natasha did.
The tire gets changed and Paula & Natasha are on their way to the soybean farm. Vanessa almost takes the wrong exit, but Pamela gets her to the right direction. Meanwhile, Bald Fuck continues to search the soybean jars and there’s no luck. Vanessa & Pamela turn into the farm’s parking lot. Then we see Adrian & Collin at a gas station asking for directions. Just as Vanessa & Pamela shut their van door, Bald Fuck finds the clue.
Vanessa decides that Pamela is more patient than her so the younger sister will look for the clue amid all of the soybean jars.

So as the sisters run towards the jars, the Extremely Unfunny and Untalented Shitheads run to their van and drive towards Suwon.
Somehow, Adrian & Collin have become sidetracked and have a long ways to drive to Seong. At Seoil Farm, Pamela is looking underneath the jar lids and manages to chip one. She won’t be the last to do this. And she begins to get frustrated in this notorious needle-in-a-haystack task.

Over to married couple Terri & Henry, they’ve stopped to ask directions from the cops as well. This begins a nightmarish leg for the both of them. And she decides that it’s time for her to drive.
At the farm, Pam continues to search for the clue and here comes Collin to look. Pam is now wondering if she’s looking in the wrong place. Collin ignores her complaining and just plows ahead.
Natasha turns into the farm and as she Paula read the clue, it’s decided that Natasha will do the Road Block. Finally, Pam finds the clue and runs off. The sisters drive to Suwon as Paula & Natasha run into the soybean farm and find the 1,500 jars waiting to be searched.

Natasha continues to search the jars and finds nothing. The Dancing Moms taking a page out of the Charla & Mirna rulebook totally kidnap a local riding a moped and order him to lead them to the soybean farm. You can tell he doesn’t want to do it, but Ann & Diane essentially browbeat him until he agrees. This is one part of the race I don’t like, the literal kidnapping of locals. It’s one thing if the local wants to help like Fern during TAR2 did with Oswald & Danny in Hong Kong, but kidnapping or forcing a local to help is something that should be stopped.
As Natasha looks through the soybean jars, the local on his moped is leading the Dancing Moms under protest to Anseong. They get there as Natash
a continues to look under the hot sun of Korea. Diane decides that she will look for the clue amid the sea of soybean jars. Then she takes off a lid and puts her arm into the soybean paste which is immediately stopped by a worker, not before both of Diane’s arms are covered in paste.
Over to the Inane Idiots who are driving to the amusement park. Crackhead is driving in the breakdown lane which Bald Fuck saves them three days. Oh ho ho! You’re so funny, Bald Fuck. Shut up!

Diane and Natasha continue to search the jars for the clue and Paula says Diane had gone to another field where she was able to find the clue despite arriving to the farm after the best friends. Paula then suggests to Natasha that she go to that field to search for the clue.
Ann & Diane kidnap another local to lead them to Woncheon Resort and he does so under protest as well.
Natasha becomes the second to break a jar lid. They’re made of ceramic so if you use even a small bit of force to close the lid, they’ll break and this is what happened. Finally, Natasha finds the clue and the best friends are now free to drive to the amusement park.

Vanessa is afraid of making a wrong turn while on the way to Suwon. Henry has already made 30 wrong turns and Terri’s voice is so annoying, I’m trying to block it out. They arrive at a library where a local leads them to Seoil Farm where Terri proceeds to yell at Henry to hurry up. I would be making plans for the divorce right here and now, but I’m not Henry. He’s a saint for putting up with Terri’s yelling. So after they look at the clue, Terri decides she’ll do it.

The Jerks have finally made it to the Woncheon Resort and the gym buddies are continuing in the water to search for their next clue. They see it and turn towards the buoy’s direction.
Back to Bald Fuck and Crackhead, they have trouble getting into a boat as they’re rather big and tall, but they finally squeeze into one. Adrian & Collin who have finally gotten the Assholes’ respect, reach the buoy first, take their clue and head back to dock. Getting their clue next are the AA’s.

The Increasingly Annoying Big and Tall Jerks get to the dock and get ready to go to Yongin.
While the the Filipino team reads their clue, Adrian & Collin feel good about making it through the paddling task. Collin says it was like training for a half Iron Man triathlon.
Baldie says he likes having a team in front of them so they know where they are. He’s so annoying.

Vanessa & Pamela make it over to the amusement park and shove off towards the buoy. Right now, this is a cohesive team. They’re working together and making good progress in the leg.
Finally, Terri finds the last clue and it’s time for the married couple to leave, but as we know, this team and driving in South Korea don’t mix. Henry says he has to find out where they are and he can tell Terri where to go.
Collin & Adrian appear to be close to the Korean Folk Village. Paula & Natasha have nicely asked, and the key word here is nicely, a local to lead them to the Woncheon Resort. I didn’t catch this the first time, but Vanessa & Pam mention that they’re steering a balut. Funny stuff. If you remember the first episode, the teams had
to eat baluts in a Filipino market.
The gym buddies have made it to the Korean Folk Village to the amazement of Bald Fuck and Crackhead. As Adrian & Collin open their clue, they find that they’ve reached the Detour. As Allan tells us, a Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams will have to decide between Too Ho or Too Heavy.


The second place team, the Big and Tall Annoyances have arrived and they choose Too Ho. They find their task and begin to strategize on how to complete this task.
Collin has the heavy jigae on his back and ask for directions on where to deliver the logs. It’s important on who finishes this task first as most likely, the next clue will tell teams to go to the Pit Stop.
Vanessa & Pamela have reached the buoy, get their clue and head back to the dock.
The Ginormous Shitheads start to toss the bamboo sticks at the cylinder and find that this task is not easy.
The Dancing Moms have reached the amusement park and give their local a hug, but he runs away screaming. No, this didn’t happen, but it should have. He should have looked for the local police and pressed kidnapping charges, however, it didn’t happen so we move on.

The Moms are singing as they press towards the buoy. Vanessa & Pam are wondering who might have caught up to them. They don’t realize two teams are ahead and the rest are behind them. But they can’t be blamed for not knowing. Everyone is now on their own and there’s no bunching.
Ann & Diane are close to the buoy now. Bald Fuck cannot get throw his bamboo stick into the narrow cylinder. He and Crackhead continue to alternate throws and their sticks are hitting the rim of the cylinder and falling out. Adrian & Collin have reached the house and the woman waiting for them starts counting the logs. The Dancing Moms have now obtained their next clue.
Realizing they don’t have enough, Adrian & Collin run back to the Too Heavy start point to get more logs.
At the Woncheon Resort, the moms have finished their task and are getting ready to go to their vans. As they’re preparing to leave, Paula & Natasha are arriving. Ann spots them and tells Diane that the girls are not very far behind them. In fact, Diane walks right past them as the best friends get out of their van. Natasha points out that the moms didn’t wish them good luck as they walked past them, no team spirit she says.

As Adrian & Collin are delivering their second batch of logs, Baldie and Dipshit have finally figured out the right touch to throw the sticks into the small cylinder. They have two of the necessary three sticks in the round container. Adrian & Collin are stacking the logs for the lady waiting for them. But Yogurthead throws the final stick into the cylinder and the Arrogant Assholes are the first to get their clue. Adrian & Collin get their clue, but they’re farther away from their van as opposed to the Giant Piles of Human Waste who will be able to leave the Village quicker.

We then go to team number three, Vanessa & Pamela. They’re speeding towards the Korean Folk Village when we see them in their post-race confessional.

Over to Terri & Henry now and they haven’
t reached the amusement park. Just as Terri is about to enter the driver’s side, Henry says he’ll back them out and get them out of there. Terri’s angry about going to the backseat. This isn’t pretty at all. She starts spitting venom at Henry. Goodness.



Over to the lead team, they somehow find a local who helps them and writes the directions to Olympic Park. Ann & Diane are talking to a local to find out where the Korean Folk Village is and Adrian & Collin are also talking to a local about Olympic Park. It appears to me that the streets of South Korea are quite confusing unless you’re a native. Henry is in a local grocery asking for directions and he’s told where to go, but it’ll do no good unless you somehow retain the instructions. It appears this does not happen. Ann says getting from one place to another is the hardest part, not doing a task.
Paula & Natasha are close to the buoy and are able to get their next clue.
Over to fighting sisters Vanessa & Pam, Vanessa asks how to get back, but Pam seems to have shut down, thinking that their chances of staying in the race are out the window.
Reaching the dock, Paula & Natasha now know they have to go to the Korean Folk Village to get their next clue. We realize here that we have true separation. The strong alpha male teams of the Giant Dickheads and Adrian & Collin vying for the top spot. Then it’s the girl-girl teams of Vanessa & Pam, the Dancing Moms and Paula & Natasha fighting to stay in it. And bringing up the rear, it’s Terri & Henry who are hoping just to find one destination without having to ask someone.
Paula & Natasha are on their way to the Village. Natasha says she saw a sign for it so they can head in the proper direction. Ann tells Diane not to go into town to get to the Village. And Pam says she’s disappointed over the wrong turn and feels their race is over. Vanessa apologizes again and Pam says they have to go back, but she doesn’t know which exit to take to start backtracking.
Ann tries to show Diane the map of where they’re going, but Diane says she can’t look while she’s driving, but Ann is insisting before she gives up. Finally, Vanessa & Pam catch a break. A tollbooth taker allows them to take a U-turn so they can head back to the right direction. But Pam is still angry.
Speaking of angry, we cut back to Henry & Terri and Terri’s just yelling. That’s all you need to know.

Over to the bellowing elephant, Henry can’t take any more. He gets out of the van as Terri yells at him for being afraid of getting lost again. I really feel for him.
The top two teams are now stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic in Seoul as they try to reach Olympic Park. It’s not going well for either team as both teams are stuck in what amounts to a parking lot. They can’t weave in and out of lanes, so they’re pretty much stuck for the most part.
When they reach the Korean Folk Village, Paula & Natasha are surprised to see some clues still inside the box. They decide to do Too Ho. But after taking a wrong turn, they reach the Too Heavy task instead. Paula looks over the jigae and correctly surmises how to do it and Natasha says she’ll carry the logs on her back.

The Annoying Asses are now driving in Seoul, and they spot Olympic Stadium, hoping that Olympic Park is nearby, but it appears they’re driving away from the area. Crackhead says they’re not coming in first. Oh, I hope that’s true. In fact, I hope they crash into a tree forcing them out of the race, but I guess that won’t be happening.
Paula is stacking logs onto the jigae which is now on Natasha’s back. She gets all thirty into the jigae, but the stack is looking rather vicarious.
Back in Seoul, Adrian & Collin and the Two Slimeballs are asking for directions. Adrian & Collin have hired a taxi driver to lead them to Olympic Park. The Slimeballs have enlisted a local who’s a slow driver to take them to the Pit Stop.

ogs into the jigae, but the logs are not stable and some fall right onto Natasha’s head. Paula decides to take some out and they walk over to the house to make two trips. They get to the house and as Natasha sits down, the logs fall out. Poor girl. The woman starts to count them as the Best Friends leave to get more logs.
Ann & Diane have finally reached the Folk Village and they decide to take on the Too Ho task.
Paula & Natasha make their way to the house once again and this time without and logs hitting Natasha’s head. They indeed have 30 logs and are given their next clue.
Ann & Diane reach the Too Ho task and start to throw bamboo sticks at the cylinder. They find the going as tough as the Jerkoffs. So they decide to switch tasks.
Pam & Vanessa finally reach the Village and see Paula & Natasha leaving. The sisters tell the best friends they got lost in passing. So the sisters decide to do Too Ho. Paula takes the wheel and pulls out to drive to Seoul.
At the Too Heavy task, it’s now totally dark as night has fallen in Korea. Ann & Diane try to stack the logs into the jigae, but it falls over. Vanessa & Pam get started on the Too Ho task.
And the Giant Dung Beetles finally make it to Olympic Park, are directed into a parking spot and make a run for the mat where they are told they are first for the fifth straight time. Because they’ve won so many times, the producers do not give them a prize.
At the Village, Ann is carrying the jigae and Diane asks for directions on where to go to deliver the logs. Vanessa & Pamela continue to throw sticks at the cylinders. Vanessa has one go in, while the Dancing Moms are walking around with their logs.

Ann & Diane have finally reached the house and make their first delivery. At Too Ho, Vanessa keeps apologizing for the wrong turn and Pam tells her to stop and just throw. They finally get the three sticks into the cylinder and get their next clue. What happens next is totally surprising. But we’ll get to that at the end.
Diane is now taking the second load of logs on her back.

Ann finally gets the rest of the logs into the jigae and they walk with Diane leading the way, but Ann following her propping up the logs. However, she walks too closely to Diane stepping on her shoe. They argue a little, but they get their clue after bringing the correct amount to the right house.

At 9:21 p.m., Ann & Diane are stuck in horrible traffic. They’re not moving, but they still find the time to shout at a local wondering if they’re close to Seoul. Hopefully, the local got out of his car and ran away. We don’t know.
Paula & Natasha are seen driving past the Olympic Stadium, but as we know, it’s not where Olympic Park is located.
As Terri & Henry get into their van, Henry drives and says he has to figure out what road they’re on so Terri just throws the map at him. Very nice. I’m now sick of this couple.

Ann & Diane now know that they won’t be eliminated. Ann says she’s confident that the Moms are ahead of one or two teams.
Natasha finds a local who accompanies them to Olympic Park. And the Dancing Moms check into the mat in 4th knowing that they passed Paula & Natasha on the way to the Pit Stop.
Natasha now realizes that her fern is drunk. But he’s directing the girls to the Park.
At the Village, Terri & Henry have arrived and have decided to do the throwing task. She curses whenever she misses. He nudges her to the side and she gets mad. Hoo boy.

And we’re just going to cut to the last scene because transcribing the yelling of Terri is just sickening to me. I can no longer handle this team and I do hope they get eliminated, but it won’t be in this episode.
After they get lost again and Terri yells at him for the umpteenth time, in their confessional, Henry cries, Terri then says she has low self esteem and is angry over the way Henry treats her. They have a lot of issues to get through. But they arrive on the mat in last place, only to be spared by a non-elimination leg. But instead of being Marked for Elimination as Edwin & Monica were in the season premiere
, they were mugged at the mat. I don’t understand this. Why not have the Marked for Elimination and be consistent instead of having one of each? I don’t know. Perhaps Executive Producer Michael McKay can explain this to me. The mugging at the mat is so unfair to teams and it forces them to beg for money in the next leg. I don’t like it at all.
Anyway, I want to finish this recap and go to bed so our Order of Finish is as follows:
1. Arrogant Assholes – 5th straight first place finish. They’re boring. I hope they’re eliminated in the next episode.
2. Adrian & Collin
3. Vanessa & Pamela – Despite a wrong turn and massive bickering, they recover and get third.
4. Ann & Diane
5. Paula & Natasha
6. Terri & Henry – Saved by non-elimination, mugged at the mat. They should be eliminated as well.
In the next episode, the teams go to Europe and there’s some unexpected difficulty for the Jerkoffs.
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