Yes, they are laughing at us!?
I’m approaching the 10-year anniversary of when I moved to this god forsaken Babylon known as NYC. OK, I’m kidding…kind of. But it is still a decision that I’m not sure was right or not. On certain days, I’m happy with but on other days, I’m planning a way to move back to Buffalo and work at Geico.
However, if there is one thing that won’t ever change, it is my disregard for NYC sports fans. The best way to describe NYC fans is that they will never give any other city the benefit of the doubt. Ever. They are first and everyone else is dead last. No 2nd place…just dead last.
They are awesome and everyone else sucks a big fat toe.
Picture being in a discussion with a stranger or acquaintance at a bar. You are comparing your teams. You are exchanging insults and different stats in the name of sticking up for your franchise. At some points it gets heated, but it should all be in good fun by the end. By the time you reach the conclusion of your conversation with a stranger, you’ll try and give some sort of compliment, IE: I have a lot of respect for Tom Brady or what I wouldn’t do to have Lucic on my team. In turn, the stranger will give you some sort of compliment about a memeber of your team, past or present.
Not in NYC. When I give them the old, “Yeah, you guys have some nice players” routine, I’ve come to find that I won’t be getting an olive branch in return. “Yeah, we have great players! We are NYC that’s why!? And your city sucks!?” Like I said, you are dead last in their eyes. You are a joke if you come from Buffalo, especially.
Four Super Bowl losses seems to always be the first insult that comes out of their mouths…and really, why shouldn’t it be? It is our calling card for Buffalo sports. It is the scarlet letter. Wear it with pride because once you say you hail from the (716), it will represent a giant zit on your nose that is unavoidable for a New Yorker to miss. But hey, we get that everywhere.
What you don’t get everywhere is winning.
Whether you like or hate NYC, one thing you can’t take away from it is the size of its ego. Everything is better here. The food, the women, the teams, the apartments and the water. Yes, I’ve had NYers tell me that the water here is what makes the pizza 10x better than that of Buffalo, Chicago or Boston. Isn’t tap water just tap water anywhere you drink it? Sure, I do buy into some of the hype, but really, it is not that big of an upgrade. If you are rich, everywhere you go is great.
Anyway, this all goes back to how everyone else is DEAD LAST.
So, why can’t the Rangers win the cup?
It is a combination of dealing with bandwagon New Yorkers and the strain of being from a city that has zero championships.
Yes, since I packed my parents’ Ford Bronco in 2002 with 3 suitcases, a 27-inch TV and my radio, the NYC tri state area has brought home four championships (Devils in 2003, Giants in 2007, Yanks in 2009 and Giants in 2011) while the Bills and Sabres have been to the playoffs a collective four times. Yes, with a Rangers Stanley Cup victory, NYC will have more championships in the last 10 years than our teams have playoff appearances.
KILL. ME. NOW.
I just want one championship. Please. A real one. Not a Bandits or Bisons or FC Buffalo title. I want one of our two stupid sports teams to win a championship so I can walk around these streets with an ugly ass sweatshirt that says “BUFFALO BILLS: SUPER BOWL 67 CHAMPS OF THE WORLD.” I don’t want to hear how NYers are sad because the Yanks, Knicks and Mets suck. Please, STFU! You have won more titles in 10 years than almost every other city during that stretch and fricken history!
As for the bandwagon fans, yes, they are creeping as we speak. I was dragged to a strip club last weekend (Sarcasm) and they had about 4-5 “Let’s go Rangers” posters in their lobby and bathrooms. Sorry, but I feel dirty enough going to a strip club without being reminded how shitty it is to be living in a sports city that hates everyone who isn’t them. My NY “Friends” are updating their Facebook statuses to say how happy they are that they are a win away from getting to the Finals even though 8 months ago they would have thought Tortorella was either a new tortilla chip or Mexican place in NYC.
Yes, bandwagon fans live everywhere (see: Buffalo Sabres from 2005-2007), but seriously, I’ve probably met like two Rangers fans in 10 years here in comparison to the 2.000 Yanks fans I’ve broken bread with. It’s like Gremlins and water here right now. It will only get worse as June rolls in.
So, please L.A. Kings, win this championship. Do it for Hollywood. Do it for Kobe. Do it for Gretzky. Do it for Bill Simmons who has like 20 favorite teams now. Please don’t let the Rangers win the cup. I get enough eye-rolling as it is when it comes to talking to New Yorkers about our teams. I don’t need to go through the bridesmaid routine of watching another New York team walk down the aisle of the Canyon of Hereos and receive the keys to the city.
Please, let me revel in their defeat as they do in ours.
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