This wasn’t a total disaster: I mean, it wasn’t like we just wrapped up a 0-16 season or anything. The Vikings rolled into Pittsburgh Sunday afternoon facing perhaps their biggest challenge of the season as they lined up against Benetration, Polamalu, Mike Tomlin and his awesome sunglasses. With Winfield declared out and B having a wet dream early in the game, it felt safe to say that as long as the Vikings could keep things close than they would have a shot. An unrealistic shot, like Sven Sunndgard trying to shack up with me for a night, but a shot nonetheless. That’s pretty much how it played out until an untimely, yet TOTALLY anticipated interception ruined one more fabled comeback for the Silver Fox. But there was still a lot to take away from this. I didn’t see the Vegas line on the game but I have to imagine that the Vikings were underdogs despite their 6-0 record. They were facing the Super Bowl champions on their home field with injuries in the Viking secondary. Despite all of this the Vikings impressively came to play. Usually it’s games like this that people get all excited for to really see how the team will stack up against better competition and then they lost in Cleveland like fashion. Not so the case here. If the Vikings had decided not to ejaculate all over each other’s hands in the showers at half time they probably would have held onto the ball and won the game. So … despite that guy stuff in the shower, the team play in the game was rather encouraging. 
But it was still pretty disappointing: And fuck a moral victory. That shit is for nerds and pimply faced high school dweebs who don’t smoke cigarettes in the bathroom. The team fucking lost when they should have won. There’s no excuse for that. The defense turned their pop warner squad around after last week’s flat outing and held a fairly impressive Steelers offense to 13 points. That should have been enough to win,nted out perhaps sarcastically. The penalties were killers. The tripping call, while by the book (you apparently can’t throw your legs up when trying to cut block? That’s no fun! Where’s the injury potential?), was still pretty ticky tacky. There were embarrassing coaching decisions again. Having first and goal from the two and not just ramming Purple Jesus down their throats to induce their gag reflex was a major, major mistake. Childress gets too fucking cute for his own fucking good. I don’t want to see Favre throw the ball 51 times in a football game. Fuck, I don’t even want him on this football team! But you better make your bed and sleep in it and because of that … 
Looks a little bit like déjà vu, this week’s Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval: … Favre gets this week’s Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval. Sure, he threw for over 300 yards but an armless and hairless gnome could throw for that many given 7,000 attempts in a game as well. Sure, the Vikings brought Favre in so he could win close games like the Ravens and 49ers games, and bring the team close enough to do so against the Steelers as well. And if TarVar was in there this would have been a forceful entry fest. But that interception on the pass play looked so god damn eerily similar to his last play as a Jet that it makes me want to fork my eyes out. Any Packer fan will tell you that this is the type of shit Viking fans should all come to expect. And while I hate to trying to soothe everyone with kind words and fuzzy thoughts that this loss isn’t the end of the world, IT TOTALLY FUCKING IS! Ok, not really at all, but that was a pretty poor interception despite everything else, and here is me hoping that Silver Fox got that shit out of his system now against a non conference opponent instead of in the middle of a playoff game. Of course, I know that I’m holding out against hope with that wish and that this type of loss has been pretty much what I’ve been anticipating all year long. How hard do you think it would be to move up in the 2010 draft and grab Sam Bradford? 
Mike Tomlin looked like a bad ass: Hm … not really much to add to this here, I just wanted an excuse to post a picture of Tomlin wearing those Aviator type shades looking cooler than Andy in Wet Hot American Summer. I want him to be my coach. But not just that, I want him to be my friend, as well. /Sigh. 
Go to hell Pittsburgh: Congratulations you Steel Towned fuckwads, you beat up on a 78 year old man. Does that make you feel important? Go gargle some man juice. As much as the Vikings shouldn’t have won that Ravens game, your rapist harboring little team shouldn’t have pulled that one out either. In fact, you should all just learn how to pull out. I do hold on to little comfort knowing that Purple Jesus absolutely Kissed the Baby Sunday by embarrassing the Gayest player on your team on television. Also, I can feel comfort in knowing that you’re still living in fucking Pittsburgh, which must be Detroit’s retarded cousin, correct? Enjoy losing your division to the Bengals, ass hats. By the way, your quarterback looks like a fruit cake. 
An NFC North shanking: The Lions were on a bye, so fuck them. They’re not important anyway. The Bears lost in exquisite fashion to the Bengals this week though, which made my day slightly better. Former Bear Cedric Benson ran for almost 200 yards on the team that black balled him out of Chicago, and now the Bears are stuck with Sulk Face, Matt Forte (is he French?) and a 3-3 record. Denver is looking pretty attractive right now, huh Cutler? You fucking idiot. Enjoy diabetes. The biggest concern for Viking fans is an emergent Green bay Packers team, while after packing the Cleveland Browns yesterday find themselves at 4-2 heading into next week’s big Favrian return to Lambeau. This game will be more important than the Monday night meeting earlier this year for a couple o
f reasons. First, a Packer win gets them within one game of the Vikings atop the division as the Vikings head into their bye week. If Green Bay wins the week after against the 0-7 Bucs, all of a sudden we’re all tied up. Second, this division lead is starting to look as large as my cock and as safe as my rape victims. With the Bears looking vastly overrated, the division should once again come down to the Packers and Vikings. Next week’s game is going to go a long way in deciding it. But for now, your Minnesota Vikings still lead the division at 6-1. 
Apparently the Vikings Cheerleaders have new outfits? I don’t know if anyone would notice this otherwise unless I pointed it out, but the Vikings Cheerleaders unveiled new cheering uniforms this past week. This brings up an interesting question; does anyone actually notice the cheerleader’s uniforms? Fuck and no, for several reasons. First, in person I’m usually sitting so high up in the rafters that I can barely tell which team I’m cheering for, let alone what some 5’2”, 90 pound girl is wearing on the field. Second, their continued hair show usually gets in the way of any skimpy clothing material they have on anyway. Third, I have zero interest in what they’re wearing, aside from imagining what it’d look like on my girlfriend right before I take it off and then prematurely jizz in my sweatpants. But I know girls like to play dress up and do make up and play house and mimic blow jayskies and whatever else girls do, so if getting new outfits makes the cheerleaders happy, I guess I don’t care. Honestly, this was just an excuse for me to get more page views and we all know it. 
A losing haiku for a Vikings loss: A loss is a loss Unless you throw a pick six Then it’s just a Favre. We’ll see you again on Friday for another Masturatory Game Preview of Favre’s return to Lambeau. Should be a good one. Anyone want to meet up and watch it someone? Post your ideas of where in the comments! Enjoy the week, despite losing.
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