***Welcome to the official chatroom of the Chicago Blackhawks!***
DontToewsMeBro: Well Gentlemen, it has not been an easy season for us as a team. However, with enough drive and perseverance, giving it 110% one shift at a time, and maybe a little bit of luck, we can have a successful offseason.
DuncanKeithBarelyBreathing: But how can we top winning the Stanley Cup last season?
GardenHossa: We should win two cups, DUH. I can’t win enough Cups to taunt my old teammates with.
Kane_Is_Able: Man, What all you crackers gonna do I the offseason, if we do go all the way?
DontToewsMeBro: Patrick, we have discussed why you should be prompt and punctual to all team meetings.
Kane_Is_Able: No prob, honkey. I was just working on my second career
DuncanKeithBarelyBreathing: You have a job other than scoring goals and getting shitfaced? To be honest, that’s a pretty sweet gig.
Kane_Is_Able: Nah, I’m setting myself to be in an ever sweeter job than hockey player—I’m gonna be a rapper.
DontToewsMeBro: You? A rapper? Somehow that seems highly improbable.
GardenHossa: But you’re from BUFFALO. You You couldn’t be more white and less street if you tried.
Kane_Is_Able: Brah, I’ll have you know that Northern and western New York have some awesome rappers.
DuncanKeithBarelyBreathing: What would you rap about? Drinking PBR and Coors Light without irony?
Kane_Is_Able: PBR sucks ass! Besides, I have a better plan. You know that Friday song?
GardenHossa: By Rebecca Black? Welcome to a month ago, noob .
Kane_Is_Able: Well, you know how since she has a black guy rapping, that somehow makes her song a legit pop single? I want to be that guy.
DontToewsMeBro: You wish to accompany pre-teen girls on extensively Autotuned blandly generic pop songs about parties?
GardenHossa: Are you high?
DuncanKeithBarelyBreathing: His eyes do look kinda red…
Kane_Is_Able: Nah, you guys, this is totally legit. Except, I’mma put a little twist on it. See, nobody’s gonna listen to a white guy rap on a white girl’s song. So I’m gonna guest on a black girl’s song, because that’s never been done before.
GardenHossa: My question about you being high still stands.
Kane_Is_Able: I’d really like to work with Willow Smith. I just love her!
DontToewsMeBro: It is my understanding that Willow Smith is a minor. In this situation, it may be prudent to choose one’s words carefully when talking about how much one “loves” her.
DuncanKeithBarelyBreathing: But why Willow Smith?
Kane_Is_Able: ‘Cuz…she’s like the lost love child of Rihanna and Andrew W.K. Besides….I think she knows that I know how whip my mullet back and forth…
DuncanKeithBarelyBreathing: I really hope that’s not a euphemism.
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